Large and In Charge

"Excuse me. You call this 'food'?? I can't tell if this is a fish or a baked potato."

Recycling My Life

"Shhhh. Maybe I can finally get out of this god forsaken house when she donates to Goodwill."

I'm comfortable, are you?

"Spoiled?? Not me. I'm the most down-to-earth feline I know. As long as I don't have to sleep on said Earth."

Trust Issues

"Excuse me, is the tape measure really necessary? I told you I've lost 20 pounds. It seems as if you don't believe me."

Heeey...Hoooo

"Sometimes you just have to say 'f**k it' and wave your paws in the air like you just don't care."

Human Rickshaw

"Just put me down over there, Linda. Be back to pick me up in about 15 minutes. I need to go get my nails done."

Like Being a Germaphobe Is a Bad Thing

"What do you mean I'm being over-dramatic? I've told you a million times that I can't stand this dirty house. I can't believe I'm living with a human pig."

Chubby Cuteness Isn't Universal

"Hey, if it's good enough for your precious cats, why ain't it good enough for us?"

The Next Great Tenor

"Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigarooooooooo. Figaro. Figaro. Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigaroooooooooooo."

Can't Tell Them Apart

"I dreamt that I had a little brother and that we were inseparable. If only that would come true. Waaaaait a second..."

Making Do With What You've Got

"I know the economy has hit us hard, and I know you want to dress up for the party, but I'm pretty sure people will notice that you're not wearing a real mink stole."

That Rumbling is My Stomach

"I can't get up right now. That freaky Iceland volcano has got me grounded, too. Uh, could you bring my lunch out here? Thanks."

Something's Fishy About Tabby

"Meow (gurgle). Um, nothing to see here. I'm just a regular house cat. You can put me down now. Purrrrr (glug)."

Taking a Stand!

"I won't put up with this anymore! You 'people' have been treating me like a second-class citizen because of my four-legged status. Well, that changes today!"

Video of standing cat!

A Model's Life

"Listen, I can't hold this staring-out-into-the-cosmos-contemplating-my-existence pose for much longer. You've got five more minutes to finish my portrait, then I'm hittin' the food bowl."

Wakka Chikka Wakka Chikka

"Hello, baby. Come ovah here an' sit next to me on this lonely couch. You like what you see, don'tcha? Aw yeah, I like what I see. I'm thinkin' this is gonna be the night of your life. Aw yeah."

The Lingering Effects of Bobby Brown

"Whitney Houston booed in Europe?! I'm not coming out of here until someone helps this woman out."

Up for a Jog??

"Are you f'ing kidding me?! I can tell you right now, Margie, this ain't happening."

A Peaceful Slumber

"Oh my. Am I exhausted. I simply cannot stay up another minute. Sara, make sure your dog does not wake me from my nap."

Never Take Advice from Pop Songs

"Ugh. I shouldn't have brushed my teeth with a bottle of Jack."

Failure is Written in Pencil

"Don't give up! If I can save the world, so can you!!"

Too Special for Words

"Not only am I a gift to this family, I'm a freakin' gift to the whole world."

Inter-specie Twins

"Look! We're both redheads!!"

Prisoner in My Own Home

"I feel trapped, both physically and emotionally."

Take Me to a Specialist

"So this is your idea of a top-notch veterinarian? I am not amused."

Am I Awake?

"Huh? Wha? Is this a dream? Are you my daddy? Is it lunch time yet?"

The Many Uses of a Couch

"Look! I'm doing the backstroke!"

Better Than an Easter Bonnet

"I know exactly what I want for Easter. The perfect accessory for the well-dressed cat. I hope my dream comes true."

"A Louis Vuitton Dog Purse."

"With a zipper spine."

C#% in a Box

"Listen, I'm only participating in your stupid 'living diorama' project for the money. So don't expect a smile anytime soon."

Fat Cat Cemented in History

"I'll be around for quite a long time...and children will worship me."

Biggest Cat in the World

"What are you lookin' at? You ain't that pretty yourself."