Friday, April 30, 2010

Large and In Charge

"Excuse me. You call this 'food'?? I can't tell if this is a fish or a baked potato."

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Recycling My Life

"Shhhh. Maybe I can finally get out of this god forsaken house when she donates to Goodwill."

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I'm comfortable, are you?

"Spoiled?? Not me. I'm the most down-to-earth feline I know. As long as I don't have to sleep on said Earth."

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Trust Issues

"Excuse me, is the tape measure really necessary? I told you I've lost 20 pounds. It seems as if you don't believe me."

Monday, April 26, 2010


"Sometimes you just have to say 'f**k it' and wave your paws in the air like you just don't care."

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Human Rickshaw

"Just put me down over there, Linda. Be back to pick me up in about 15 minutes. I need to go get my nails done."

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Like Being a Germaphobe Is a Bad Thing

"What do you mean I'm being over-dramatic? I've told you a million times that I can't stand this dirty house. I can't believe I'm living with a human pig."

Friday, April 23, 2010

Chubby Cuteness Isn't Universal

"Hey, if it's good enough for your precious cats, why ain't it good enough for us?"

Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Next Great Tenor

"Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigarooooooooo. Figaro. Figaro. Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigaroooooooooooo."

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Can't Tell Them Apart

"I dreamt that I had a little brother and that we were inseparable. If only that would come true. Waaaaait a second..."

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Making Do With What You've Got

"I know the economy has hit us hard, and I know you want to dress up for the party, but I'm pretty sure people will notice that you're not wearing a real mink stole."

Monday, April 19, 2010

That Rumbling is My Stomach

"I can't get up right now. That freaky Iceland volcano has got me grounded, too. Uh, could you bring my lunch out here? Thanks."

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Something's Fishy About Tabby

"Meow (gurgle). Um, nothing to see here. I'm just a regular house cat. You can put me down now. Purrrrr (glug)."

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Taking a Stand!

"I won't put up with this anymore! You 'people' have been treating me like a second-class citizen because of my four-legged status. Well, that changes today!"

Friday, April 16, 2010

A Model's Life

"Listen, I can't hold this staring-out-into-the-cosmos-contemplating-my-existence pose for much longer. You've got five more minutes to finish my portrait, then I'm hittin' the food bowl."

Wakka Chikka Wakka Chikka

"Hello, baby. Come ovah here an' sit next to me on this lonely couch. You like what you see, don'tcha? Aw yeah, I like what I see. I'm thinkin' this is gonna be the night of your life. Aw yeah."

Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Lingering Effects of Bobby Brown

"Whitney Houston booed in Europe?! I'm not coming out of here until someone helps this woman out."

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Up for a Jog??

"Are you f'ing kidding me?! I can tell you right now, Margie, this ain't happening."

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

A Peaceful Slumber

"Oh my. Am I exhausted. I simply cannot stay up another minute. Sara, make sure your dog does not wake me from my nap."

Monday, April 12, 2010

Never Take Advice from Pop Songs

"Ugh. I shouldn't have brushed my teeth with a bottle of Jack."

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Failure is Written in Pencil

"Don't give up! If I can save the world, so can you!!"

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Too Special for Words

"Not only am I a gift to this family, I'm a freakin' gift to the whole world."

Friday, April 9, 2010

Inter-specie Twins

"Look! We're both redheads!!"

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Prisoner in My Own Home

"I feel trapped, both physically and emotionally."

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Take Me to a Specialist

"So this is your idea of a top-notch veterinarian? I am not amused."

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Am I Awake?

"Huh? Wha? Is this a dream? Are you my daddy? Is it lunch time yet?"

Monday, April 5, 2010

The Many Uses of a Couch

"Look! I'm doing the backstroke!"

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Better Than an Easter Bonnet

"I know exactly what I want for Easter. The perfect accessory for the well-dressed cat. I hope my dream comes true."

"A Louis Vuitton Dog Purse."

"With a zipper spine."

Saturday, April 3, 2010

C#% in a Box

"Listen, I'm only participating in your stupid 'living diorama' project for the money. So don't expect a smile anytime soon."

Friday, April 2, 2010

Fat Cat Cemented in History

"I'll be around for quite a long time...and children will worship me."

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Biggest Cat in the World

"What are you lookin' at? You ain't that pretty yourself."