Friday, July 30, 2010

Something Doesn't Feel Right About This

"Pssst, Maurice. Pretend you're enjoying this and when he relaxes his arms, head for the window. He can't catch both of us."

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Climbing to Nowhere

"Uh, hello. I think the Mt. Everest setting may be a little too challenging."

Monday, July 26, 2010

Ya Think Ur Cooler Than Me?

"Uh, yeah. Thanks. I, um, do feel much cooler now. How 'bout next time we just turn on the air conditioner?

Sunday, July 25, 2010

I'm Gonna Sex U Up

"C'mon, baby. Nobody's home. It's just you and me and this cheap Persian rug."

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Someone's a Little Over Excited

"Woohoo! Aw yeah! Dy-no-mite! There's a sale on kitty litter!"

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Getting the 411

"Hang up! I already told you there's no program for cats at Jenny Craig.
God, I am so pissed at you right now, Heather."

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Friday, July 16, 2010

Just 5 More Minutes

"What part of 'I'm not done with my bath' don't you get??"

Thursday, July 15, 2010

You Never Know Who's a Porn Star

"Nooooo! It was never supposed to be made public! I was young and needed the money. I should have never done that video."

(scene from Daddy Likeee)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere

"I'm not the one with the problem. You're the one with the problem! Who leaves the price on a gift??"

Monday, July 12, 2010

Don't Judge Me

"I'm not chubby. I've just got short legs."

Sunday, July 11, 2010

My Own Private World Cup

"I pass! I shoot! I SCORE!! Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!"

Friday, July 9, 2010

Computers Can Be Draining

"What do you think, little Russian doll? Will I ever the 1000-friend mark on Facebook?"

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Cat in a Carriage

"I'll start acting like an adult when you stop treating me like a baby. Got it?
Oh, I'm ready for my bottle now. And it better not be room temperature!"

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Exercising My Imagination

"I think I'll go for a jog today. Oh wait, I see a cloud. Better not risk it."

Monday, July 5, 2010

I Heart Holidays!

"What's better than a Monday off? Beer on a weekday!"

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Saturday, July 3, 2010

I Pledge Allegiance to My Owner

"Why don't I feel so independent?"

Friday, July 2, 2010

I'll Do It Myself

"No, no. Don't bother getting up. I'll get my own dinner."

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Let's Get Physical

"New month, new weight. It's time to go from 'sculpting' to 'buffing.'"