Large and In Charge

"Excuse me. You call this 'food'?? I can't tell if this is a fish or a baked potato."

Recycling My Life

"Shhhh. Maybe I can finally get out of this god forsaken house when she donates to Goodwill."

I'm comfortable, are you?

"Spoiled?? Not me. I'm the most down-to-earth feline I know. As long as I don't have to sleep on said Earth."

Trust Issues

"Excuse me, is the tape measure really necessary? I told you I've lost 20 pounds. It seems as if you don't believe me."

Heeey...Hoooo

"Sometimes you just have to say 'f**k it' and wave your paws in the air like you just don't care."

Human Rickshaw

"Just put me down over there, Linda. Be back to pick me up in about 15 minutes. I need to go get my nails done."

Like Being a Germaphobe Is a Bad Thing

"What do you mean I'm being over-dramatic? I've told you a million times that I can't stand this dirty house. I can't believe I'm living with a human pig."